Rebuilding The Roanes

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Keepin' it real

Believe it or not, most of the time I am quite aware of how blessed I am. But then every once in a while, I get a visit from the big ugly green monster, and suddenly I'm like a toddler throwing a fit on the floor, (figuratively... most of the time.)

"Why me?!" (sobb sobb)
"Why wasn't I smarter when I was younger and finished my college ed?"
"Why do I always have to struggle with my relationships, money, career etc?"
"Why is my car always breaking down?"

The why's never did anybody any good. Self-pity is for the weak. I know all of this, but the ugly green monster that is my evil alter ego does not seem to get it. And in an attempt to distract myself from thinking in such negative, nonproductive ways, I turn off my feelings and go on auto-pilot. I am for all intents and purposes, useless. I'm as alive as a robot, programmed to follow a course of steps throughout each day. Eat, clean, feed, clean, fold, change, shop, clean, sleep. Do it again. At least the self-loathing is on hold...for a while.

Then, I get a wake up call.

Lately, my wake-up call has come in the form of the experiences of others. (see my readers list. Pics and Kicks. and Stakerz xposed) and I am deeply ashamed at how ungrateful I've been. I am aware, once again that I have lost focus. I forgot what is important, what is real.

I need to center, or find my chi, or whatever the buddhists call it. I need to do some serious self-exploration before my life gets so far off track that I can't even find the track.

Motherhood comes with occupational hazards. Losing yourself is one of the biggest. Somewhere between caring for the ones I love, I have forgotten to love myself. Perhaps I never learned.

This is me announcing my change. The answers are in me. I'll find them.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Nothing is without its consiquence

The After-math of our fabulous fun at Chuck E Cheese's

Pink eye.

Another cheesey Roane birthday!

Happy Birthday Matthew!

Feb. 17 2010

My silly boy is 5!

Yes! We were brave and took him and his friend, Erika to the dreaded Chuck E Cheese.

(Dreaded for parents)

After much persuation, Nate and I were finnally able to convince Matthew to wear regular clothes...

over his spider-man costume.

As shown above, the shirt didn't stay on long.

Her look should say all you need to know about how the food was.

Me and My dad doing a cheesey promotion.

blowing out the candles on his spider-man/power rangers/turtles cupcakes

Of all his super heros and trucks, Matthew's favorite present was by far these red Converse shoes.

(go-figure)

All the kids had a blast with the games

Most of the kids enjoyed the rides as well.

All in all I think Chuck E throws a pretty decent party!

And I didn't have to clean up the mess!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

No need to play hard to get!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Friday, February 12, 2010

100 things I love about my Valentine, Nate

100 things I love about my Valentine, Nate:

He laughs at my stupid jokes
He always tells me I look good even when I know I don't
He loves Valentines day!
He remembers the exact date of our first date
He remembers the exact date of our first kiss
His smile
He'll watch chick movies with me
He'll cry in chick movies with me
He likes to shop
He likes fashion
He says I love you at least once a day
He sometimes calls in the middle of the day just to see how I am doin
He cleans the bathrooms
He likes scented candles
He always cuddles with me in bed
He buys me chocolates
He will massage my feet
He does the dishes
He can change a diaper
He always holds my hand
He's cute
He likes watching Extra with me
He packs me lunches for work
He always includes sweets in the lunches he packs for me
He always says he likes my cooking
He always does something special for my birthday
He wants to buy me things all the time
He's a good sport about me teasing him all the time
He loves me even when it seems the rest of the world doesn't
He feeds the cat when i forget
He's always on my side
He tells me I'm beautiful
He tells me that my butt's not fat
He does the laundry
He likes to look good
He doesn't complain if I don't do any housework for a day
He lets me sleep in on his day off
He let me have the other side of the bed so I could see the tv better
He's warm
He's a great father
He reads books to the kids in funny voices
He plans dates for us
He likes to kiss me
He tells me he misses me when I'm gone
He gives me shoulder massages
He doesn't complain if I just want to ignore him in favor of a good book
He will give me fashion advice
He takes the kids to church when I can't be there
He always says nice things about me to his friends and co-workers
He lets me have girl's nights out
He actually likes The Quilted Bear
He writes me love notes
He always makes our anniversary special
He watches Harry Potter with Ashton
He'll take the girls out for "daddy dates"
He never raises his voice
He's patient
He's kind
He loves animals-but not in his house
He loves his family and worries for them
He knows my favorite candies
He will bring me my favorite candies or chocolate when I'm PMS-ing
He's patient when I'm in a bad mood
He wants me to be happy
He wants to help decorate the house
He tells me I look hot in lingerie
He's sweet
He finds the good in everyone
Hee, hee sixty-nine!
He bought me a Jimi Hendrix tee-shirt because he knows I like his music
He listens to music he hates just because I like it
He never acts jealous when I oogle over hot actors on t.v.
He never oogles over other women
He likes love songs
He tells me some love songs remind him of us
He's a good kisser
He lights candles when he wants to be romantic
He is pretty romantic (more than I gave him credit for)
Our relationship is a priority to him
He points out the good things about me
He listnes to me whine when I have a bad day
He's thoughtful
He has a really cute butt
He doesn't know how cute he is
He lets me buy expensive jeans
He always apologizes when he makes me mad
He can eat cereal and drive at the same time
He's so smart
He doesn't know how smart he is
He's modest
He nibbles my ears because he knows it drives me wild
He lets me grab his ears-because he knows I like it
He's funny
He tells me I'm the only one for him
He lets me cry on his shoulder when I really need to cry
He makes sexual inuendos in front of the kids because he knows they won't get it and it makes me laugh
He taught me to appreciate sports (somewhat)
He's a man of integrity
He lets me ramble on about the kids, my mother, work, whatever.
He's simply wonderful!

Thank you for letting me be sappy for a minute!

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Primitive Pee-pee pleasures

Peeing outside is one of man's most primitive pleasures.

It is not often that we are able to partake of this little pleasure, but when we can, the result is nothing short of exhilirating.

Some of you might be shaking your heads right now saying, "What? Not me. I'm civilized."

You're lying to yourself as well as to the rest of us.

Think back, maybe way way back, dig deep.

You'll find that memory in there somewhere.

You. Exposed. The fresh outdoor air blowing against your nakedness.

The thrill of knowing that at any moment you could get caught.

All of this mixed with the relief of emptying your bladder.

Its heaven!

This little primitive pleasure is not something many of us are really able to partake of quite so freely in the winter months.

Matthew was privledged to do just that a couple of nights ago.

It was about 7:00 pm. on a Thursday evening. Nate announced that we all were to take a family trip to the local Rite Aide drug store to buy some kind of fancy new blade for shaving his head.

Being especially tired that evening, I inadvertantly forgot to inforce the 'Everyone pees before we leave' rule.

And guess what? Matthew was doing the pee-pee dance something fierce just as we all walked into the store.

I told Nate that Matthew had to pee. Nate pretended not to hear me. So...I took my son to the clerk at the front and asked if she had a restroom we could use. (Matthew's dance was getting quite intense by this time).

"Oh. Sorry, its broken!" She excalimed happily.

Why this chick was so happy about telling me that their facilities were not functioning, I will never know but she's lucky I didn't wipe that stupid grin off with my fist, I'll tell ya that much.

I marched Matthew back to Nate, told him the situation and suggested that he take him outside to a semi-private spot and let him relieve himself. Nate, being ever so refined and dignified refused to do it. By this time Matthew's pee-pee dance is looking more like convulsions.

"Can he just wait until we get home? it's not that far." Nate asks

"I don't know hon, I'll be surprised if he can wait until we get to aisle three."

"Matthew, can you wait? We're leaving right now?"

Matthew doesn't say anything, just looks up at me with wide, panicked eyes.

"C'mon." I say, And I march him outside, to the far edge of the deserted parking lot where a large bank of snow provides both the perfect cover and target.

Now, Matthew has never peed standing up before, so naturally he needed help. Of course, I'm not familiar with the mechanics of little boys' little units either, and I can now state for the record that its not as easy as it looks!

If you don't point that little thing up enough, the result is dribblets on the front of the pants.(which I learned about that night). On the other hand, if you point the little unit up too far...well you'll get what Matthew got, a urine hair rinse.

Once I got the hang of how the anatomy all worked, we both had a lot of fun. Matthew was delighted at how bright yellow his pee looked against the white snow. I was just happy to see how much pee I wouldn't be cleaning up from the car seat. (And believe me, that was a lot of pee. I think my boy must be part camel). And of course it was exhilirating!

After that little experience, I think I finally understand penis envy.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Punxsutawney phil verses PITA

I should write something, because if I don't write something soon the three readers I have will not read this anymore. Where oh where would I be without my couple of readers. Thanks to those who like my postings.

Anyway, I have been so completely uninspired the last few weeks. I don't really know why, but I think it has something to do with January. Thank goodness its now February and if spring doesn't get here soon I think I'll have a nervous break down!

Speaking of February, we just got past groundhog day and as my little girls have informed me we will indeed have six more long weeks of winter weather to endure. But I never heard if old Punxsutawney Phil went through with his appearance this year or not. If you haven't heard the story, PITA, the animal rights activists were trying to put an end to the real Punxsutawney Phil ceramony in Pennsylvania. They asked that a robotic ground hog be put in place of the real ground hog because they felt the annual ceremony may be too traumatic for the little fellow.

Is it just me or does it sound like PITA is bored? Maybe someone needs to report some actual animal abuse so the good folks there at PITA will have something to do. Perhaps the people at PITA are just looking for something to get their name put in the papers again. Bad publicity is still publicity, and since the Michael Vick situation has run its course, the media has forgotten all about the poor animal rights activists.

Everyone pray that one of the Victoria's Secret super sluts go out in a mink coat this week because I'm tired of PITA stupidity.