We've Only Just Begun...

I'm back! I'm new and improved and so is my blog. Its been over a year since I've written anything (unless you count writing out rent checks ). Its not that I haven't felt the urge to write. I always enjoy writing, I've just been very busy living. As you can see from the new look and title of the blog, I've been rebuilding, and though this rebuilding of life is still very much in process (who's life isn't right) things are established enough that I have a chance to take up my hobby again. It feels good. Point is I'm so excited to be back!

I've experienced so much and learned even more throughout this year. Not every part of it has been pleasant, in fact I've been through hell and back and then to hell again a number of times. There have been times this last year, and I'm sure there will be again, that I've doubted my strength to make it through and then I discovered that I'm stronger than I thought. I've also had experiences that have been just down right fun, some that have been unbelievably crazy and some that have been profoundly beautiful.

 I've learned that some of the wild things I've seen in movies and thought were so far-fetched can actually happen in real life . I've discovered that some of the most interesting and profound people are the one's I've usually written off as odd balls and some of the people I thought were profound were actually the oddest of balls.

I've discovered that the loss of a dream is the loss of an illusion that is only blocking us from the potential of an amazing reality. What is traditional is not always what is best.

Most of all I've learned that living is meant to be so much more than going through the motions. We're not robots, stepford wives, we're marvelous beings in motion. Each day, each moment we live is meaningful in ways we cannot even fathom. This is my self discovery, lesson's I've learned, this is my life.



This past year I've watched my girls grow from carefree kids to responsible contributors of the household. I've struggled with this. I've wondered if so much responsibility is healthy or scaring.  I mean, I haven't given in and dropped out leaving them to figure out their own survival. These amazing girls at 11 and 9 have just stepped  up, learned how to scramble their own eggs, how to change a diaper, how to resolve their own conflicts with each other, and how to prioritize between things we really want and things we really need. I've concluded that this kind of working together is simply what we have to do if we're going to make this family work. Its a new dynamic, one that will perhaps be beneficial in preparing them for success in their own adult lives. Childhood illusions have been replaced and these kids have grown well past their years. Its not the ideal situation but our love for each other will ensure that everything will be alright.

This journey has been so intense, so exciting, and so worth writing about. I hope you'll enjoy the stories of my journey as much as I will enjoy writing them. Perhaps someone in a similar situation will even be able to use my experiences as a kind of assurance that falling apart isn't the worst thing that can happen, sometimes its the best thing.