OCD, and the never-ending quest for the perfect kitchen calendar

Nate continues to deny that he has OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). Its cute really, this ability of his to live within his own make-believe world. What is really mind-boggeling, however, is that he can continue to proclaim he is not obsessive in the face of his latest obsession.

Nate's newest obsession, that is finding the perfect 2010 calendar to hang in our kitchen, began with the ringing in of the new year and persists to this present day.

We have been out on numerous shopping trips with the agenda to find our new calendar in mind, none of which proved fruitful. Once, I even thought we'd found it, the one. It was a charming little calendar, donning various photographs of England's country side. I figured it would be a shoo-in. No such luck. Nate, of course, zoned in on the one photograph in the lot of tweleve that he didn't much care for, thus rendering the entire calendar useless.

Another, near success, was a beautiful number entitled, 'twelve places to visit before you die.', but was ultimately rejected due to an apparant bend in its corner.

 I, personally don't understand the importance of aesthetics for a calendar we only end up mutilating and scribbling on, over the course of the year. And, anyone who knows me knows I'm none too patient with these obsessive behaviors. Therefore, in order to avoid conflict, I have tried to assure my husband that I have every confidence in his ability to find a beautiful calendar to grace the walls of our ugly kitchen, and to keep my mouth shut. That was of course until last night, when I foolishly attempted to make a point, make a joke, and put an end to this insanity for good, all in one move.

I was at the mall, returning some pants I had bought for Brooke a while back, (she found them so hideous she wouldn't even touch them, and dubbed them 'the ugly grandma pants'), and decided to stop in at See's candies for a free sample while I was there. (I'm afraid I'm terribly shameless about my use of the free sample policy at See's.) Anyway, as I was walking back toward the exit closest to my car, I glanced at the calendar booth set up in the middle of the mall, and noticed this perfectly tacky calendar:

And...what's better is it was 75% off making this little gem only $3.00.

I was sold. I bought the calendar, knowing Nate's disdain for any pictures of animal life as well as his absolute disgust for rodents, and hung it, proudly on the kitchen wall.

All evening I waited in anticipation for Nate to return from work and happen upon this calendar. Surely he would see the humor. Surely he would see that I was making light of his silly quest. Surely we would both have a good laugh over photos of gerbils in flower pots, and sporting bifocals. Surely this would ease the tension he's been building.

Surely I do not know my husband as well as I thought I did.

Needless to say, my joke did not have the desired effect. Nate was both appauled and disgusted as well as angry for the $3 I wasted on an ugly calendar. My gerbil friends were immediately pulled off the wall and discarded as mere trash. I then, spent the remainder of the evening listening to Nate's lecture on handling finances responsibly. And so, continues the quest for the perfect kitchen calendar.

Maybe I should have gotten the goats.