From Stay-at-home Mom to... What Ever Type of Mom This Is

 The entire dynamic of the family experience has changed dramatically since I have become a single mother.   stay-at-home mom's are able to be so much more devoted to their kids. If a mom really uses this opportunity in the right way, really cherishes their role in their children's lives, their kids benefit so much more.Even though my friends and family have assured me that my children will not grow up to write a book on child deprivation using me as the example of the worst mom ever, I still have a sense of loss and guilt. I'm sure its normal. Just like any loss, (and a major life change is a loss of a former life) there is a grieving process. This is a list of mine.

 I feel guilty that I don't really make nice home cooked meals for the kids anymore. Roast and potatoes on Thursday nights are now a thing of the past, unless I find a pre-made version in the grocery store that I pop in the oven. I also don't really have the time or money to enroll the kids in sports or dance classes anymore. I'm sure the kids feel a little deprived in that area.

 I don't have the luxury of taking the littlest one to story time at the library, something my older children  really looked forward to when they were little. Ashton really looked forward to those trips. We would sit together on the floor, sing the songs and listen to the stories. It was more than a way to get out of the house, (although that was a nice benefit) it was an opportunity for us to bond.

We don't take nearly as many excursions to the park as we used to. I am not the mom who chaperons the class field trips. Our little Halloween parties I used to throw for the kids would be near impossible to pull off in this situation.

I guess the thing to do is to focus on the benefits that our current situation affords us. The kids have learned a lot about responsibility since they have had to take on more of it and that is an important lesson that will help them in their adult life. In those rare times that we are able to go out to the park or out for ice cream, it is much more appreciated by the kids as well as for myself. I hope that by being in school myself, it sets a good example for the kids that higher education is important.

These ideas are what gets me out of bed and to my classes every day. These are the the hopes that get me finishing my homework in place of family dinners. The hope that by making these sacrifices now will lead to a better future is what keeps me trying to grasp the math concepts that do not come easily.

Sometimes I must remind myself that the past, however idealistic it seemed, is just that, the past. The memories we have are often selective. Like photographs, we remember only the happy times, and block the tough times from our minds.So, although I will always believe that a stay-at-home mom is the most beneficial way to raise children, I can appreciate that there are benefits that come from this family dynamic as well. I will honor our past as a traditional family and embrace the future.