Because Blogs With Pictures of Cats are Super Popular

 The Insurance commercial I heard on the radio yesterday said that if you want to have a successful blog, a good place to start is by posting pictures of cats. People love cats! So hear is a picture of a cat. He is a little exotic looking. People love exotic too! I like to call him, Silver bullet because it would probably take a silver bullet to kill it.









Just to ensure that my little rant pages are super successful, I'm going to go ahead and treat you to another little darling.

 This little guy carries a cunning resemblance to a bar tender I regrettably went on a couple of dates with. He has the same menacing look in his eyes, bad sense of jewelry fashion, and of course the mo-hawk which was Mr. Bar tender's own little trade mark that set him apart so well from all the other fifty million dumb asses with the same due. Little kitty wears his better, in my opinion that is. Not withstanding, I think I'll call this one Scotch on the Rocks.

What do you think? Do we need a finale to keep my sudden influx of new readers coming back for more? I think so. This last little cutie is proof that life does exist on other galaxies and that they are not staying home. We are being invaded people!

I think I'll call him Zuel after the evil demon from the classic 80's film, Ghost Busters. (one of my favs by the way)

But then, I'm kind of torn. Zuel also looks quite a lot like a hellish version of Skippy John Jones, the beloved character from the very popular children's book series. That gives me an idea for a new book in the series, "Skippy John Jones gets carried away with a bottle of Nair".

Any way, I hope you all enjoyed these pictures of cute cuddly cats as much as I did. Its amazing how animals can melt your heart and make you feel all fuzzy inside. I guess that's why blogs with pictures of cats are so very popular. I'm sure glad I listened to the radio.

From Stay-at-home Mom to... What Ever Type of Mom This Is

 The entire dynamic of the family experience has changed dramatically since I have become a single mother.   stay-at-home mom's are able to be so much more devoted to their kids. If a mom really uses this opportunity in the right way, really cherishes their role in their children's lives, their kids benefit so much more.Even though my friends and family have assured me that my children will not grow up to write a book on child deprivation using me as the example of the worst mom ever, I still have a sense of loss and guilt. I'm sure its normal. Just like any loss, (and a major life change is a loss of a former life) there is a grieving process. This is a list of mine.

 I feel guilty that I don't really make nice home cooked meals for the kids anymore. Roast and potatoes on Thursday nights are now a thing of the past, unless I find a pre-made version in the grocery store that I pop in the oven. I also don't really have the time or money to enroll the kids in sports or dance classes anymore. I'm sure the kids feel a little deprived in that area.

 I don't have the luxury of taking the littlest one to story time at the library, something my older children  really looked forward to when they were little. Ashton really looked forward to those trips. We would sit together on the floor, sing the songs and listen to the stories. It was more than a way to get out of the house, (although that was a nice benefit) it was an opportunity for us to bond.

We don't take nearly as many excursions to the park as we used to. I am not the mom who chaperons the class field trips. Our little Halloween parties I used to throw for the kids would be near impossible to pull off in this situation.

I guess the thing to do is to focus on the benefits that our current situation affords us. The kids have learned a lot about responsibility since they have had to take on more of it and that is an important lesson that will help them in their adult life. In those rare times that we are able to go out to the park or out for ice cream, it is much more appreciated by the kids as well as for myself. I hope that by being in school myself, it sets a good example for the kids that higher education is important.

These ideas are what gets me out of bed and to my classes every day. These are the the hopes that get me finishing my homework in place of family dinners. The hope that by making these sacrifices now will lead to a better future is what keeps me trying to grasp the math concepts that do not come easily.

Sometimes I must remind myself that the past, however idealistic it seemed, is just that, the past. The memories we have are often selective. Like photographs, we remember only the happy times, and block the tough times from our minds.So, although I will always believe that a stay-at-home mom is the most beneficial way to raise children, I can appreciate that there are benefits that come from this family dynamic as well. I will honor our past as a traditional family and embrace the future.

Who The Hell Are We Anyway? And Does It Matter?

I have spent most of my life living within someone else's reality. As a younger girl, I tried to be what I thought my mother wanted me to be, but never really could get it right. I'm still unsure of what it was that she had in mind, or if she even had an idea mapped out at all! She may have been fine with me just being me, but I was so busy trying to figure out what she wanted me to be that I missed that memo entirely.

 When I got older, and entered young adult-hood I attempted to mold myself into what I thought my culture expected of me. By "culture" I mean Utah Mormon culture. If anyone knows the LDS religion they know it is more than a religion, its a life style.The problem with my effort to conform is that it was based solely on my own misinterpretations. There is no one way to do anything and that includes being a Mormon, its all left to one's own discretion. Contrary to what I believed, individuality does exist within Mormonism, therefore, trying to keep up was more than exhausting, it was futile.

While I was trying to perfect the art of scrap booking because "Sally Sue" down the street believes it is the best way to preserve your family memories, I forgot that I should also be baking banana bread because another fellow neighbor lady insists baking is a good, nutritious way to show your family that you care as well  as to avoid letting the bananas that have been rapidly browning on the counter go to waste. Meanwhile, inside my own head, all I really want to do is open a can of spaghettio's for the kids and then all take a walk to the park to play Frisbee.

I think it goes without saying that trying to be what someone else wanted me to be proved disastrous within the institution of my marriage as well. I just never seemed to get it right. I don't hold it against my ex-husband, how was he to know I wasn't who he thought I was when I didn't even know who I was? If this is confusing for you to grasp you can imagine how confusing it was to live.

Well,  there comes a time in everyone's life when one must take a long hard look in the mirror and ask, "Who the hell am I?".And since there is no reference outside of one's self in which to base that answer upon, one must admit that they are completely unique and thus undefinable. Truth is we all live in separate realities. Sure our realities collide with one other all the time, but it doesn't change the fact that our reality is totally different than any other persons. And at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter if you have successfully lived up to anyone's expectations, only that you lived up to your own.

So, I gave up trying to be what I thought everyone wanted me to be and just started living. You know, making sure the kids have a well-balanced diet, homework gets done and clothes are clean... the basics. My mother still likes to tell me what I should be doing, how to discipline my kids, or what I should want out of life. She's pretty hung up on the idea that I find myself a widower with a couple of children to marry and all become the Brady Bunch. I still don't understand why, in her fantasy, this guy's poor wife has to be dead, it seems sort of demented to me. I think she just likes saying the word "widower". It must remind her of a Charlotte Braunte novel or something. I know she means well, so I just laugh and assure her that I am perfectly fine with my life situation just the way it is. I've got plenty on my plate with kids and school, and men are great...in moderation.

The ex- husband and I don't always see eye to eye on parenting matters, but he has accepted the idea that I just am who I am and I have done the same for him. The important thing is that the kids know we both love them more than anything and that they are free to just be the amazing and unique beings that they are. They know I  don't have any mold for them to fit into and they shouldn't worry about fitting into anyone else's either. I encourage them to find their own definition of happiness, just as I am defining mine. We are all who we are... Marvelous.