I have a very love-hate relationship with the old cartoon Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer . Of course, as a child I anticipated the TV special every Christmas, but even then something about the animation and story kind of creeped me out. I watched it more out of duty to the seasonal tradition, I think, rather than any real admiration of the cartoon itself.
"Hey its Christmas time...and there's a big 'Special Presentation' notice on the TV screen...and that disembodied male voice excitedly announcing 'Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer'. We have to watch this!"
So there I sat mesmerized in front of the screen as the claymation figures reinacted the story I never liked. I guess its the car wreck affect. You don't really want to see what's going on but you can't take your eyes off it anyhow.
However, I do have a little more appreciation for Rudolph now that I am older and have children of my own who seem to, for whatever reason, really like watching it. As in the case of yesterday afternoon when the three of them decided to take a much-needed break from driving me nuts to sit mesmerized by the new and improved DVD version. I was appreciative of the creepy little characters then, but here are a few of my reasons that Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer gives me the heeby-jeebies.
1. Every character seems to have an issue with their eyes that causes them to roll around excessively.(especially the abomindable snowman) Its like they're all posessed by weird cartoon deamons and its just really creepy.
2. Along with a red nose, Rudolph seems to also have a deviated septum or something of the sort because his voice is all nasaly.
3. Rudolph's father also irritates me. He's the classic over-bearing pushy type. I'm aware that in the end he sort of makes it up to Rudolph but not enough penence was done in my opinion. If this were real poor Rudolph would need years of extensive therapy to overcome his issues of feeling like he could never measure up to his father's expectations.
4. Santa isn't fat and Mrs. Clause is a nag! "Eat, Santa, Eat. Whoever heard of a skinny Santa!" She cries as she shoves cookies in his face. Maybe Santa doesn't want to be fat, maybe he wants to set an example of a more healthy and fit Santa Clause. But Mrs. Clause seems to want to sabatoge all of these efforts. Then we wonder why childhood obesity is an epidemic in this country.
5. The elf is ostrasized for wanting to be a dentist. I mean, come on, couldn't they think of something a little more likely. Personally I'd be descriminating against a weird little man who wanted to look in everyone's mouth too. What weirdo dreams of being a dentist unless he has some kind of teeth fetish and then thats really creepy especially in a kids' cartoon.
6. The doll. The doll that Rudolph and the creepy mouth-fetish dentist elf meet in the land of misfit toys really has nothing wrong with her to make her a misfit, at least not at first glance. But then soon you realize that this doll has strange psychological problems. But how would any human know that? The doll doesn't talk to humans. Anyway, besides that its just weird to have a doll with psychological issues in a kids' show. I mean should we really be burdeoning children with the realities of self-doubt and depression? They'll be forced into learning about that one soon enough.
7 The final complaint I have against Rudolph is when the characters defeat the abomindable snowman by hitting him in the nuts! What's worse is you can't even see any "nuts" on the monster. Then, he rolls his eyes all wild-like and falls over. I mean thats just teaching kids to take a cheap-shot!
So, to sum it all up, I really don't like Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer. But, will I put up with afore-mentioned creepiness in order to distract my children from bugging the hell out of each other on cold winter afternoons? You betcha!
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